A song for the reader
Some things you'll do for money, some things you'll do for fun, but the things you do for love are gonna come back to you one by one. Love is gonna lead you on, into a wide and soundless place, now we see things as in a mirror dimly, then we shall see each other face to face.

Snakes in the grass beneath our feet, rain in the clouds above, some moments last forever but some flare out with love, love, love.

So many things fit together. How do I feel about the world? What do I believe in? What is my belief? What are my views? My views are that some moments last forever, some flare out with love, love, love. I believe in that which is still the fountain light of all our days. I value the spirit which rolls through all things. After all is said and done, and all the bemoaning of our state has finished, I value this: that not only is this what I believe, but that this exists and is not my words but is what is in my head and in my heart:

O joy! that in our embers Is something that doth live, That nature yet remembers What was so fugitive! The thought of our past years in me doth breed Perpetual benediction: not indeed For that which is most worthy to be blest; Delight and liberty, the simple creed Of Childhood, whether busy or at rest, With new-fledged hope still fluttering in his breast: - Not for these I raise The song of thanks and praise; But for those obstinate questionings Of sense and outward things, Fallings from us, vanishings; Blank misgivings of a Creature Moving about in worlds not realised, High instincts before which our mortal Nature Did tremble like a guilty Thing surprised: But for those first affections, Those shadowy recollections, Which, be they what they may, Are yet the fountain-light of all our day, Are yet a master-light of all our seeing; Uphold us, cherish, and have power to make Our noisy years seem moments in the being Of the eternal Silence: truths that wake, To perish never; Which neither listlessness, nor mad endeavor, Nor Man nor Boy, Nor all that is at enmity with joy, Can utterly abolish or destroy! Hence in a season of calm weather Though inland far we be, Our Souls have sight of that immortal sea Which brought us hither, Can in a moment travel thither, And see the Children sport upon the shore, And hear the mighty waters rolling evermore. Then sing, ye Birds, sing, sing a joyous song! And let the young Lambs bound As to the tabor's sound! We in thought will join your throng, Ye that pipe and ye that play Ye that through your hearts today Feel the gladness of the May! What though the radiance which was once so bright Be now for ever taken from my sight, Though nothing can bring back the hour Of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower; We will grieve not, rather find Strength in what remains behind; In the primal sympathy Which having been must ever be; In the soothing thoughts that spring Out of human suffering; In the faith that looks through death, In years that bring the philosophic mind. And O, ye Fountains, Meadows, Hills, and Groves, Forebode not any severing of our loves! Yet in my heart of hearts I feel your might; I only have relinquished one delight To live beneath your more habitual sway. I love the Brooks which down their channels fret, Even more than when I tripped lightly as they; The innocent brightness of a new-born Day Is lovely yet; The Clouds that gather round the setting sun Do take a sober colouring from an eye That hath kept watch o'er man's mortality; Another race hath been, and other palms are won. Thanks to the human heart by which we live, Thanks to its tenderness, its joys, and fears, To me the meanest flower that blows can give thoughts that do often lie too deep for tears.


I have faith. I have found my faith, I think. I know. It is not solidified, but it is back, it is here. I have not been a perfect christian, god knows I am still not; I may have a 'past', I may be totally unorthodox, I may be totally orthodox, I may be offensive and not innocent but I am here, and I am come home to my home. That doesn't even do it justice: I cannot put into words what it is. I can translate: God is my father. Even though I am not perfect, not in any way am I perfect, I am perfect. I feel I am incomplete and unworthy and not worth it, I feel I am a failure and corrupted and unworthy of God's love, but I am here. I am given myself to the spirit. I do not want to say 'I have given', that does not seem right. I am given. I am giving. I am trying, Lord knows I am trying, Lord. I want to live a blessed life. I want good. I want good things. I so badly want good things. To live a right life--these are the things that I strive for. Right knowledge, right living, right action, right godliness...Wisdom Understanding Counsel Fortitude Knowledge Piety Fear of the Lord--I do not take that last one as fear, not in the afraid sense...God, the world, the spirit, the one, us, the oneness of everything, everything does not accept fear, does not accept cowering abasement. This may be harsh, but it will not do to have that. I believe in awe. In the real, magnificent sense. The true power of God is inspiring of awe. The hints of the spirit that I see leave me full of awe. Because, this is how I see it--everything is everything. Everyone is right. Everything is exactly how it said it would be.

What a thought--everyone was right! Everyone was wrong! Everything dies, and everything ends--an end of sorts, sure, but why do I say everything? We are all the same! And even 'we' is to exclusive. EVERYTHING. ALL. The unnamed, nameless, _____!!!!!!!!!! It is all there! If you are alive, one day you will die. You are part of me, I am part of him, they are part of us and also our enemies, and the friends of our enemies are also part of us. Not just in the sense that we all affect each other. We all ARE each other. For God so loved the world that he gave his only son, there is so much meaning there, and it is all there! All of it! Everything is exactly what we always thought it was! Finding the meaning, finding the future: Where is the future? What is the future? What lies ahead? Stop looking up, stop looking behind you--there it is! The future is right in front of you! You'll know everything in the end (you already do know everything), but it'll be here in the future! Oh! Wait! The future is right now and right now and right now! The future is right in front of us, and the past is right where we left it.

And never forget, grace is what puts you on a pedestal, and what knocks you off it. The man who drank of the sap of the tree of eternal life: he violently sprouted some shrubbery--eternal life! Life is not without a sense of humour, and it is never malicious in the evil sense. It has a wicked sense of humour. And don't worry, don't take it personally--it's just you, after all.